Hell and Back
by Maureen3
Summary: Xander needs Willow's help. It is a task worthy of 'Mission Impossible.'


Title: Hell and Back Author: Maureen, the Greek Amazon Disclaimer: All things Buffy are property of Joss and the almighty 'grr, arg' monster. not me. *snif* Rating: PG Summary: Xander needs Willow's help. It is a task worthy of 'Mission Impossible.' Feedback: I like feedback. It is a good thing. Send it to me at greek_amazon@yahoo.com Author's notes: This is in response to a fanfic challenge by Ellie. I'm not quite sure when this takes place. Spike still has the chip. That's all I know for sure.  
  
**************************************************************************** *** "WILLOW!!" Xander burst, out of breath, into Willow's room. Startled, Willow dropped the book she had been reading. "Xander? What's wrong?" she demanded, not used to seeing her friend so distressed. "I need your help, Wills." "What? A -- a spell? Xander, what's wrong?" "Willow, I NEED you to baby-sit for me." "What?" asked Willow, unsure of what she'd just heard. "Please, Willow, I agreed to baby-sit for my uncle tonight, but I can't." "Why not?" "It's Anya and my anniversary tonight. If I'm not there she ... heh, heh, she WILL kill me." "Xander, I don't know... Aren't these the cousins that are 'worse than Angelus?'" "PLEASE Willow, I'm begging you here!" Xander dropped to his knees and hugged Willow's thighs. "Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease????" "Alright! I'll do it. But you owe me!" "Oh, I know, Willow! I am SO sorry. If I can do anything to make it up..." Willow brightened and grinned happily. "I'll think of some horrible punishment later... Or some other kind of retribution," she joked. "What time should I be there?" "8:00. Oh, thank you Wills! I swear, I will make this up to you."  
  
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"Hi, Mr. and Mrs.Bunnie? I'm Willow." "Oh, hello Willow. Xander told us you'd be filling in for him tonight," Mrs.Bunnie replied when Willow arrived at their house at promptly 8:00. "Well, Xander had an anniversary with his girlfriend. That's why he's not here." "OH! That's so sweet!" She turned to her husband. "Why don't you ever do anything like that, Henry?!" Henry's eyes grew wide. "Uh, well, yes. Willow, these are the kids. This one is Jerry, our oldest and she's Karen." he said indicating an eight year old boy and a three year old girl. Willow squatted so that she was at eye-level with the children. "Hi. I'm Willow." The kids didn't respond. "Well, Willow, we should be back around ten. If we're not, we'll call you." "Sure thing, Mrs.Bunnie. Have a good time." "Bye, Willow." She said shutting the door behind her and her husband. Willow turned back to the children. "So, what do you guys want to do tonight?" "Let's play BONK!" yelled Jerry. "BONK!" agreed Karen. "Ok, how do you play BONK?" said Willow, glad that these kids seemed to be willing to do something. She didn't see what Xander meant at all. They were so cute. "Like THIS!" Exclaimed Jerry and hit Willow over the head with a hard, plastic dinosaur that he had been holding. "OW!" cried Willow. Jerry and his sister both fled downstairs giggling madly. "Ok, funny!" called Willow behind them. "How about we play a real game now? One that doesn't involve hurting me?" Willow looked around the basement. She couldn't see the kids anywhere. Great. Five minutes into the babysitting and she'd already lost both of them. "Jerry?" she paused, listening. "Karen?" She walked around the basement, checking around every corner for the brats... er... children. She walked through a doorway at the back of the basement. "Kids?" She heard them behind her and turned around just in time to see the door slam shut behind her. She heard the kids giggling on the other side. "Ha ha!" She stepped towards the door and tried to open it. "Hey! This is locked! Hey! Let me out!" She heard the kids flee upstairs, having successfully locked their babysitter in the basement. This meant that they had the run of the house. Willow jiggled the doorknob. When it didn't work, Willow began examining it. "There's got to be a clasp, or -- or something." There was no clasp, no hitch to unlock the door. What was the point of having this door, anyway? It wasn't safe. As this thought entered her head she instinctively looked around, making sure that this room didn't house some kind of Hellhound or mutant Hyena. It didn't. "No, of course not. You're becoming paranoid," she said to herself. "Too much time with the slayer. It's just a stupidly designed room, Willow." She jiggled the doorknob again, knowing the results would be no different. She slumped against the wall behind her. "Rats." Willow looked at the doorknob. She listened for the kids. They were upstairs. Good. Slowly, she concentrated on the doorknob and lock on the other side of the door. On the other side, the handle turned and pulled forward. The door popped open. "Score one for the babysitter," she mumbled as she headed upstairs to track down the kids. As she walked past the bathroom she saw all of Mrs.Bunnie's makeup, open and on the floor. "Oh no." She had no idea what the kids had done, but she was sure that it wasn't good. She chose against entering the bathroom, not wishing to be locked in a room again. She heard a noise behind her. "Jerr--AAAAHHH!!!" she yelled as they came at her. She hit her head on a desk, and fell unconscious.  
  
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Willow groggily awoke to the sound of chanting. She found herself bound with a skipping rope to a chair. "Wha?" she asked aloud. She was then poked in the arm with a plastic spear. She looked down to see Jerry and Karen dressed like ancient tribesmen from a lost island, using lipstick as war paint in three lines across their cheeks. "UP!" exclaimed Karen. Willow struggled against the restraints, but found that she was securely tied down. "Jerry, untie me." "I am Jerry! Ruler of the jungle island!" "That's great," said Willow, forcing a smile. "Untie me." "NO!" he yelled in response and poked her again with the spear. "NO!" agreed Karen, and mimicked Jerry's action. "Tell us a story!" "Untie me," Willow tried to barter. "Tell us a story, then we untie you! Don't tell us story," he threatened, "and we sacrifice you to volcano!" "Alright!" conceded Willow. She couldn't believe this -- She had faced down vampires, demons, Principle Snyder, and now, here she was, at the mercy of two children who had seen too many movies of the jungle variety. "What do you want the story to be about?" Jerry and Karen looked at each other for a while, before Jerry spoke. "Vampires!" Willow nearly laughed aloud. Vampires? Well, this would be easy. She looked down at her watch. 8:45. She had been out for just a few minutes. That was a good thing. "Vampires?" she asked. "Any reason why?" "No Dracla 'lowed." admitted Karen "No Dracula, huh? Well you know what?" "What?" asked the kids, beginning to be mesmerized by the tale the Willow was sure to unload. "Dracula wasn't a real vampire." The kids gasped. "That's right. But don't worry. I know all about REAL vampires." "Tell!" commanded Karen. "Ok. Are you ready?" They nodded, being drawn into the 'fantasy.' "Well, you see, in every generation, there is born one slayer...."  
  
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"...And that, children, is how Betty, the vampire Slayer, her watcher, Niles, and her friends Wilma, Xavier, Annie, Terry, Roger and to some extent, the vampire Pike stopped Andy and the Initiative." The children nodded their approval. "Now, untie me." Karen stepped forward to comply to her wishes, but Jerry pulled her back. "That story wasn't real!" he exclaimed. "Oh, how do you figure that?" Willow demanded, starting to get irritated. "Vampires don't have names like Pike! And a chip won't affect them." "They do, and yes it will!" exclaimed Willow. "And witches are evil! They cackle and cook kids for dinner!" Willow was steamed. "NO, they don't!" Willow at this time, was glad she was restrained, because if she wasn't, she might have snapped his scrawny little neck. "What would you know about witches?" demanded Jerry. "I know enough," said Willow, beginning to undo her binds with her mind. "How?" The binds unwrapped themselves at an incredible pace. "I am one," she admitted, wondering how she was going to get out of this one. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!" Jerry screamed and fled through the front door in terror. "No, Jerry! Don't go outside! It's dark!" She began to run after him, but stopped to look at Karen, who hadn't moved. "'believe you." said Karen, without fear. "You good." "Yes," said Willow. "I'm good. Can you stay here? Can I trust you to stay while I go get your brother?" "I stay." She looked at Willow hopefully. "No let vampoires get him, K Willa?" "Never." said Willow and left through the front door behind the child. "Jerry, please," she called down the street. "Witch!" she heard him yell, and ran towards the sound which was followed by a far more frantic scream -- One of pain. "JERRY!!!!" from where she was she could see the vampire holding him, bringing his mouth in for the kill. "NO!!" screamed Willow and flung herself at the vampire, seeing no other option, since she didn't have a stake. She and the vampire fell to the ground in a tangle of limbs. "Don't hurt him!" screamed Willow. The vampire pinned Willow to the ground. "Who's going to stop me? You? You'd make a good main course," he said, demonic eyes flashing. "Maybe I'll have him for dessert." Willow looked at Jerry, who stood, mesmerized. "Run!" she told him. "Get inside! A vampire can't come in unless he's invited! Go to -- " She was cut off as the vampire slapped her across the face. "You talk too much." She turned her head, and saw that Jerry hadn't yet moved. The vampire sunk his fangs into her neck. "NO!" she screamed, just before a stake entered his back, and he dusted on top of Willow. Eyes closed, she coughed and sat up. "Buffy?" she asked, taking the had that was offered to her. "Not quite, Red," came a lofty British accent. "Spike!" she stated, shocked. Then she came to her senses. "Thank you." "Just wanted to kill something," he mumbled, lighting a cigarette. "What's with the tyke?" Willow looked down at Jerry, who ran crying towards her. She opened her arms to hug him. "I'm sorry," he sobbed. "I believe you, I--" "Shhh...." she said, stroking his hair and lifting him up. "It's ok. I think I owe you an explanation." She turned to Spike. "You can come, if -- if you want." Spike shrugged his eyebrows and followed her back to the house. "Come in," said Karen to the vampire. Willow's eyes grew huge, but let her nervousness subside. She addressed the children. "Remember that story I told you?" They nodded. "Well, it's true. All of it. Except, the names were fake. I'm 'Wilma.' Xander is 'Xavier.' This is 'Pike.' His real name is Spike." Spike glanced at the kids and raised his eyebrows. "You're -- You're a -- v--vampire," stated Jerry nervously. "He can't hurt you."  
  
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"Remember, you can't tell your parents about ANY of this, ok?" "Ok," Karen and Jerry agreed. Spike came out of the kitchen with a bowl of shredded wheat and made himself comfortable on the couch. "Your parents," she continued "won't--" She heard a honk and stopped her conversation and looked at her watch. Her eyes grew wide. It was 10:00. "...They're here," she said in a tiny voice. She looked from the bathroom to the kids to vampire as she became aware of the blood that was still wet at her neck. "How am I going to explain this?" Willow ran to the bathroom and shoved the loose makeup in the drawer as Mr. and Mrs.Bunnie came through the front door. "Hi," she said, smiling. "Wow," said Mrs.Bunnie. "I've never had a baby-sitter come out of this smiling." She glanced at the kids. "Or seen the kids so well behaved and clean." Willow was in shock. They thought that she had done a good job? "I think that Willow deserves a little something extra. Oh dear! What happened to your neck?" She inquired as her husband drew money from his wallet. Willow brought her hand to her neck. "Just...tripped near a desk," she lied. Then Mrs.Bunnie's eyes fell on Spike. "Who's that?" "That?" said Willow, searching for an excuse as the vampire stood up and walked towards her. "That is my friend." "Spike," Willow winced as he said his name. "I'm here to walk Red home. It's not safe after dark." "Oh." The smile returned to Mrs.Bunnie's face. She was apparently content with that response. "Willow good." Said Karen, as Spike placed his hands on Willow's shoulders. Willow took the money from Mr.Bunnie and said goodbye to the kids. "Let's go, luv." said Spike and they left. "Nice people," said Mrs.Bunnie after they had left.  
  
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"Thanks Spike. Nice save," Willow commented once they were outside. "Well, I had to have a reason for being in there. Who were those kids, anyhow?" "Xander's cousins. He asked me to fill in for him." "Why?" "He has an anniversary with Anya tonight." "No he doesn't luv. I saw him at the Bronze." "But he --" Something in Willow's mind clicked. Spike was right. Xander didn't have an anniversary tonight. "I'm going to kill him." "That's my girl."  
  
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Xander sat in front of the TV, laughing at Austin Powers. The scene changed to Scott. "Geez, that guy looks like Oz," His happyland daydream was interrupted when his door flew open. Willow stormed down the stairs, Spike hot on her tail, a huge grin on his face. "YOU!" Screamed Willow and lunged at Xander. Spike grabbed the popcorn from the couch and proceeded to watch the entertainment.  
  
THE END 


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